Is Your Dog Training You? Here’s How to Tell
Most dog owners don’t realize it, but our dogs are quietly shaping our behavior every single day. They may not use words, but they are experts at watching what works and repeating it.
If you’ve ever caught yourself doing something simply because your dog insisted on it, you may be experiencing a classic case of the dog training the human. Let’s take a fun (and honest!) look at the signs—and what you can do to turn things around with kindness and clarity.
1. Your Dog Gets What They Want… by Doing Something You Don’t Want
If your dog barks and you open the door, paws at you and you start petting, or whines and you hand over a toy, you’ve taught them something powerful:
“This behavior gets me what I want.”
Dogs learn quickly when their behavior is reinforced. And positive reinforcement works both ways. When we respond to barking or whining, we inadvertently train our dogs to repeat the behavior.
2. You Adjust Your Life Around Your Dog’s Demands
Do you stop working every time your dog nudges your arm?
Tiptoe around them when they sprawl across the couch?
Sit on the floor because they “look sad”?
These are all clear signs your dog has learned how to influence your behavior. Dogs are master observers—and if something works once, they’ll try it again.
3. You Repeat Cues… and Your Dog Waits Until You Do
“Sit… sit… SIT!”
Sound familiar?
When cues come in triplicate, dogs learn they don’t need to respond the first time. Or maybe you say “Come,” they ignore you, and you walk toward them anyway meaning you just completed the behavior, not them!
This is a classic example of a dog patiently shaping you.
4. Your Dog Negotiates the Reward
Ever offer a treat and your dog turns their head away until you upgrade it to cheese?
Yep… that’s reward selection—by the dog.
When we adjust the reward to get cooperation, our dogs learn how to get the “good stuff.”
5. They’ve Memorized Your Patterns
Dogs are incredible at picking up cues we don’t even know we’re giving.
Key jingles = time to go.
Leash in hand = party spin mode.
Standing up from your chair = snack time.
If you adjust your pace or behavior to avoid excitement, spinning, or barking, your dog is shaping you beautifully.
6. Interruptions Work Every Time
If your dog barks, nudges, paces, or pesters—and you stop what you’re doing to give attention—they quickly discover the magic formula:
“Interrupt the human → get access.”
Attention is a powerful reinforcer, even when we don’t mean for it to be.
7. The Guilty Look Gets You Every Time
The “sad puppy face” is effective, isn’t it?
Whether it earns them extra treats, permission to sleep on the bed, a relaxed rule, or a late-night potty trip they didn’t actually need, your dog has learned that particular looks get results.
Again, dogs aren’t manipulative. They’re just communicating in the ways that work.
How to (Gently) Take Back the Lead
1. Notice What You’re Reinforcing
Ask yourself: What did my dog do right before I responded?
That’s the behavior you’re training.
2. Reward What You Want—Ignore or Redirect What You Don’t
Clear behaviors get clear outcomes.
3. Use One Clear Cue
Give your cue once, pause, and allow your dog to think. Repeating cues creates confusion.
4. Add Structure and Predictability
Set times for feeding, potty breaks, play, and training.
Intentional routines prevent your dog from becoming the decision-maker.
5. Teach a “Settle” or “Go Relax” Behavior
This gives your dog a default behavior during downtime—and gives you breathing room.
The Truth: Your Dog Isn’t Trying to Control You
They’re simply learning from patterns—your patterns.
Once you understand how your responses shape your dog’s behavior, training becomes easier, calmer, and much more enjoyable.
When you become the one doing the shaping, everything starts to click.