The Myth of Playing Tug of War With Your Dog
Let’s talk about one of the most persistent dog training myths out there:
“Don’t play tug-of-war with your dog. It’ll make them aggressive.”
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that… well, I could buy a lifetime supply of tug toys.
Here’s the truth: Tug does not create aggression. Poor structure and misunderstanding do.
And if you’re a new dog owner (or even a seasoned one), this matters more than you think.
Where Did This Myth Even Come From?
The old-school belief was that tug mimics fighting. Since dogs grab, pull, shake, and growl during tug, people assumed it “teaches” aggression or dominance.
But that idea misunderstands how dogs actually work.
Dogs don’t become aggressive because they pulled on a rope toy.
They become frustrated, confused, overstimulated, or defensive when:
- Their needs aren’t understood
- A game lacks structure
- A human escalates intensity instead of guiding it
Sound familiar? That’s not a tug problem. That’s a clarity problem.
What Tug Actually Is
Tug is:
- A predatory motor pattern outlet
- A relationship-building game
- A fantastic reinforcement tool
- A confidence builder
When done well, it’s one of the best ways to:
- Build engagement
- Teach impulse control
- Strengthen recall
- Improve focus around distractions
If you’re teaching dogs to pay attention (which I know is a big passion of yours), tug can become gold.
The Real Key: Structure
Tug becomes problematic only when it’s chaotic.
Here’s what healthy tug looks like:
1. You Start the Game
Your dog doesn’t grab the toy from your hand uninvited. You cue it.
2. You End the Game
You can ask for an “out” or “drop,” and the game pauses or ends.
3. Teeth Touch Skin? Game Stops
Instantly. Calmly. No drama. Just information.
4. Arousal Stays Manageable
Excited? Yes. Out of control? No.
Structure builds clarity.
Clarity builds trust.
Trust prevents aggression.
What Science and Modern Trainers Say
Modern behavior science doesn’t support the idea that tug creates aggression.
In fact, controlled studies show:
- Dogs who play tug appropriately are often more responsive, not less.
- Tug can improve obedience when used as a reward.
- Dogs can absolutely differentiate between play and real conflict.
Play growling is not aggression. It’s communication.
If your dog can:
- Drop the toy on cue
- Re-engage appropriately
- Stay connected to you
You’re not creating a monster. You’re building a teammate.
When Tug Is NOT Appropriate
Let’s be real — context matters.
Tug may not be ideal if:
- Your dog guards toys intensely
- You haven’t taught a release cue
- A child is playing without guidance
- Your dog is already overstimulated beyond threshold
This is where understanding comes in.
Without understanding, expectations go sideways.
And when expectations go sideways, frustration follows.
The problem isn’t tug.
The problem is skipping foundation.
Tug Is a Relationship Game
When done right, tug says:
- “Let’s play together.”
- “Let’s practice control in excitement.”
- “Let’s build trust in high energy.”
It’s not about dominance.
It’s about partnership.
Final Thought
If your dog loves tug, don’t take that joy away because of an outdated belief.
Instead, teach:
- Start and stop cues
- Drop on command
- Calm transitions
- Clear boundaries
Tug doesn’t create aggression.
Lack of clarity does.
And when we understand our dogs better, everything gets easier.