A message landed in my inbox recently that broke my heart.
“We have a 17-week-old French Bulldog who is resistant to potty training and seems to have severe separation anxiety. Every time she realizes she’s alone, she poops in her crate or wherever she is. She even poops in her crate at night. We’ve tried everything, and we’re exhausted. We dread leaving the house because we know we’ll come home to another mess. Help!”
My heart hurts for this family.
Not because they have a “bad dog.”
But because they’re trying their best with a puppy that may not have had the best start in life.
As a trainer, I wish more people understood this:
The first 8–10 weeks of a puppy’s life matter more than most people realize.
That’s why you’re not just choosing a puppy—you’re choosing the breeder.
A responsible breeder doesn’t just produce puppies. They carefully select healthy parents, prioritize stable temperaments, provide early socialization, and raise puppies in an environment that prepares them for life in a home.
A backyard breeder may genuinely love their dogs, but love alone isn’t enough. Without thoughtful breeding, health testing, and proper early experiences, puppies can begin life with challenges that leave families feeling overwhelmed before they even have a chance to enjoy puppyhood.
Does this mean every puppy with potty-training or separation issues came from a backyard breeder? No. Puppies are individuals, and many factors—including genetics, health, learning history, and environment—can influence behavior.
But the quality of a puppy’s start absolutely matters.
When you choose a breeder, don’t just fall in love with the puppy.
Ask questions.
Meet the parents.
Observe where the puppies are raised.
Find out how they’re being socialized.
Because training doesn’t begin the day you bring your puppy home.
It begins long before you ever meet your puppy.
Your future dog is worth the wait. ❤️
The following do’s and don’ts will help you evaluate a breeder carefully and give your future puppy the strongest possible start.
Do: Research the Breed Before Searching for a Breeder
Every breed was developed with certain physical traits, instincts, and working abilities. Those traits do not disappear simply because a dog becomes a family pet.
Before choosing a breed, learn about its:
· Typical energy and exercise needs
· Adult size and strength
· Grooming and shedding
· Sociability with people and other animals
· Natural tendencies, such as guarding, herding, chasing, retrieving, or vocalizing
· Common health concerns
· Training and enrichment needs
Choose a breed whose needs fit the life you actually live—not the life you hope to live someday. A dog that matches your household, schedule, experience, and activity level is more likely to thrive.
Don’t: Choose a Dog Based Only on Appearance
A beautiful coat, unusual color, or adorable face can get your attention, but appearance tells you very little about whether a dog will be comfortable in your home.
Color should never be more important than health, temperament, or sound breeding. Be especially cautious when a seller markets “rare” colors or unusually small sizes as the puppy’s main selling point. These labels may be used to create urgency or justify a higher price without providing any meaningful benefit to the dog.
Do: Look for a Breeder Who Welcomes Questions
A responsible breeder should be willing to have an honest conversation with you. They should explain why they chose a particular pairing, what they hoped to produce, and what strengths or challenges may be present in the puppies.
Helpful questions include:
· Why did you choose to breed these two dogs?
· What are the parents’ temperaments like in everyday life?
· What health conditions are common in this breed?
· Which health tests were completed on both parents?
· How are the puppies raised and socialized?
· How do you decide which puppy goes to which home?
· What support do you provide after the puppy goes home?
· What happens if an owner can no longer keep the dog?
A thoughtful breeder will usually ask you many questions, too. That is a good sign. It shows they care where their puppies go.
Don’t: Be Offended by a Breeder’s Questions
Expect questions about your household, work schedule, children, other pets, dog experience, training plans, and goals. The breeder may also ask what qualities you want in a dog and which behaviors would be difficult for you to manage.
This should feel like a careful matching process—not a sales transaction. A breeder who is willing to sell immediately to anyone with money may not be giving enough thought to the puppy’s future.
Do: Verify Breed-Appropriate Health Testing
A routine veterinary exam or a commercial DNA panel is not the same as complete health testing. Responsible breeders screen the parents for the inherited conditions known to affect their breed. Depending on the breed, that may include evaluations of the hips, elbows, eyes, heart, patellas, hearing, or specific genetic diseases.
Ask for the registered names of both parents and copies of the results. Confirm that the testing is appropriate for the breed and that it was completed at the recommended age. Results from organizations such as the Orthopedic Foundation for Animals may be publicly searchable.
Health testing cannot guarantee that a puppy will never become ill. It does show that the breeder is making informed decisions to reduce known risks.
Don’t: Accept “My Dogs Have Always Been Healthy” as Proof
A dog can look healthy and still carry or develop an inherited condition. Statements such as “the parents have never had a problem” or “my veterinarian checked them” do not replace documented, breed-specific screening.
If a breeder avoids your questions, cannot produce records, or says testing is unnecessary, keep looking.
Do: Pay Attention to Temperament
Temperament is influenced by genetics, learning, environment, and the dog’s individual health and development. Early experiences matter, but they cannot completely erase inherited tendencies.
Ask how the parents respond to strangers, handling, unfamiliar places, other dogs, frustration, and recovery after something startling. If possible, meet the mother and observe whether she appears comfortable and behaves appropriately for her breed and situation. The father may live elsewhere, but the breeder should still be able to describe him honestly.
No dog is perfect. A trustworthy breeder should be able to discuss both desirable qualities and possible concerns.
Don’t: Assume the Boldest Puppy Is the “Best” Puppy
The puppy who runs to you first may be charming, but a brief visit is not a reliable temperament test. A puppy’s behavior can change with hunger, fatigue, novelty, or the activity of its littermates.
The breeder has watched the puppies develop over time and should understand their differences better than a visitor can during one meeting. Be open to the breeder’s recommendation instead of choosing solely by color, sex, size, or which puppy climbs into your lap first.
Do: Ask How the Puppies Are Raised
Puppies benefit from safe, positive exposure to normal sights, sounds, surfaces, people, gentle handling, and age-appropriate challenges. They also need adequate rest, cleanliness, veterinary care, and time with their mother and littermates.
Ask the breeder to describe a typical day. Good early development is not about overwhelming puppies with constant stimulation. It is about giving them thoughtful experiences while watching each puppy’s response.
Don’t: Rely on a Label Like “Raised in Our Home”
A puppy can live inside a house and still receive very little meaningful interaction or preparation. Ask what the breeder actually does with the puppies, how often they are handled, what they experience, and how the breeder responds when a puppy is worried.
Specific answers are more valuable than reassuring slogans.
Do: Review the Contract Carefully
A responsible breeder normally provides a written contract explaining the responsibilities of both parties. It may address health guarantees, veterinary care, registration, breeding rights, spaying or neutering, and what happens if you can no longer keep the dog.
One of the strongest signs of breeder responsibility is a lifetime return policy. Ethical breeders do not want dogs they produced to end up abandoned, passed from home to home, or surrendered without their knowledge.
Read everything before paying a deposit, and ask questions about anything you do not understand.
Don’t: Let Urgency Override Good Judgment
Be cautious if a seller pressures you to send money immediately, offers a discount for a quick decision, always has puppies available, refuses to show where the puppies are raised, or wants to exchange a puppy in a parking lot with little conversation.
Scammers may use stolen photos, emotional stories, and demands for hard-to-recover payment methods. Verify the breeder’s identity and reputation, speak with them directly, and confirm that the puppy and records are real before sending money.
Do: Expect to Wait
Responsible breeders do not produce puppies on demand. They may breed only occasionally, and they may have a waiting list. Waiting can feel disappointing, but availability should not be the deciding factor in a commitment that may last 10 to 15 years or longer.
Use the waiting period to prepare your home, locate a veterinarian, find a qualified trainer, learn about puppy development, and plan for socialization and housetraining.
Don’t: Expect Breeding to Guarantee a Perfect Dog
Good breeding improves the odds of health and stable temperament, but it cannot guarantee a dog who never becomes ill, frightened, reactive, or difficult. Puppies are living individuals, not finished products.
Your puppy will still need patient teaching, appropriate exercise, rest, veterinary care, safe social experiences, and realistic expectations. Understanding your dog will help you respond to behavior with curiosity instead of frustration.
A Simple Breeder Checklist
Before committing to a puppy, ask yourself:
· Have I researched the breed’s needs and natural tendencies?
· Does this breeder complete and document breed-appropriate health testing?
· Can the breeder discuss the parents’ health and temperament honestly?
· Are the puppies raised in a clean, safe, enriching environment?
· Does the breeder match puppies to homes thoughtfully?
· Is there a clear written contract and lifetime return policy?
· Does the breeder remain available for support?
· Do I feel informed rather than pressured?
If several answers are no—or if something simply does not feel right—it is okay to walk away. Buying a puppy out of sympathy may put money into the hands of someone who will continue producing puppies under poor conditions.
Final Thoughts
Choosing a puppy is not only about finding a dog you want. It is also about finding a breeder whose priorities protect the dogs they produce.
Slow down, ask questions, verify health testing, and look beyond appearances. The right breeder will respect your careful decision-making because they are making a careful decision, too. A thoughtful match gives you and your dog a stronger foundation for a healthy, happy life together.